Catch us all summer long on the 2011 Rockstar Mayhem Festival

WOW….How the days go by…

So I am going to make an attempt at writing my first Music Adventure blog hammered drunk on whiskey. If I do not write this tonight I can guarantee you I will not be writing much during the NAMM show for the next 4 days, it is going to be one crazy situation involving finding a place to park the mobile stage and not taking a shower, while trying to look professional enough to find some companies that want to help us out with Music Adventure II. Believe it or not the last 2 weeks has been the party, and now its time for the real reason why we came down, which is a party in itself.

I know I know, it is a really rough job we have, but believe me when I say that this is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, above and beyond the original Music Adventure Tour. I can’t speak for everyone, but every day we play, it is such an uncertain feeling of what is going to happen, yet every time we make it through without police intervention, I am fed with more confidence. Last night was a perfect example, and we will get there in this update, but I am going to go in order, unfortunately starting with all of us lighting our junk on fire with everclear…

After we had such an awesome night in Hollywood with the drum off and The Rainbow, we decided to take the next day off and watch Dano light his balls on fire. Really one would think we should be playing every night around here but let me explain to everyone about the gas prices right now…..They are fucking BULLSHIT. We’re paying $3.49 a gallon right now for regular, and the mobile stage has ran on premium for the last 6 months. It cost $75 round trip to make a run through Hollywood…Sure beats the shit out of paying $500 to play at The Whisky, and we make way more contacts, but we still have a few weeks left, and the bank account is running dry. So we plan our attacks properly, and don’t mind taking a day off to edit videos and blog.

The next two days could be explained in 15 paragraphs, or one paragraph, and I will keep it to one simply because I don’t know how many people want to hear about balls on fire. The first night Dano got hammered and lit his balls on fire, then the next night 7 people at Shane’s house lit their balls on fire with everclear, Bekka our roadie then lit her pussy on fire and pissed while standing on the speaker, all while we played Elvis “Burnin Love” in the background, then Shane played a couple Eagles songs on the acoustic guitar. This all took place on the Music Adventure Stage and You Tube was nice enough to delete the videos, funny how 12 year old chicks can strip naked to Ja Rule, 12 year old boys can be molested by Catholic priests, but you can’t light your balls on fire and put it on the internet….It’s a fucked up world we live in.

It is really crazy that the show we decide to go to our friend is playing has about as many people at as a local hometown show, but the people there are: Lemmy, Rick Kosick, Masumi Max and Morat, among tens of other people that I know are in some sort of legendary band but I am horrible with faces and names. Let me tell you it is kind of hard talking to Rick Kosick about lighting your balls on fire…he created the Jackass series among other things.

Ultimately Los Angeles would be the perfect place for us to live, but neither one of us would want to live here, we just want to live in a mobile stage, it is actually really cool having Eugene, OR as our home. Who the fuck really wants to rage every major city in America then return to a major city, major cities are cool but they suck to live in…parking tickets, people everywhere all the time, everything is expensive, nowhere to even relax. Maybe this is just me being from a small town, but if I were taking a week off before the next tour, I would much be surrounded by 137,893 people than 13 million people….just sayin.

Here is where I would like to say a bunch of things on my mind and talk about how certain people are, all the “rockstars” that we run into. We hate “rockstars” and we will never be one of them, we are musicians, if you want to be a dick to me when I say “thank you for everything you have done for music,” then i hope your career starts going more downhill than it already is.

I used to call people out on their shit and actually had great success with it, but at this point we just kind of have to smile and act like everything is cool. If there is one person that I follow everyday that actually calls people out on their bullshit, it is Bob Lefsetz, and if you are not subscribed to his blog, you should be, because everything he says is legit and are what I believe to be the ideals of the new era of music. Bob also re-posted some information about the original Music Adventure this summer that ultimately got us on the Mayhem tour to begin with. In other words Bob has a lot of followers in the music industry because they obviously are scared of what he has to say, the entire fucking industry is currently being flushed down the toilet, you can forget about the classic ways that bands became well known bands, it is over, and everyone knows it.

Enough preaching for everyone, back to the story, we rolled onto La Brea Avenue for the initial drive by scope out for a drive by show in front of Crazy Girls. As we sit at a stoplight I say to Bekka “hey that is LA ink, Dano said he wanted us to play there, let’s do it after Crazy Girls because it is 2 blocks up on the same street”. Then we doubt ourselves for a minute like it isn’t LA Ink…Yeah that is LA Ink.

So up to Sunset we go, then make a left to turn around, I turned right on this street with a light, and it said no trucks over 6,000 lbs….fuck it! As I go down the apartment lined street with just enough room to squeeze the mobile stage through, 3 cars start heading down the street. I turn to Bekka and say “bigger vessel has the right of way, fuck them!” They all pulled in and made room, and good thing they did, because I wasn’t stopping!

Pulled out onto the next road right in front of someone driving really fast, they passed me by driving into opposing traffic, flipped me off, and honked….Like I care, I’m in a mobile stage…fuck you! The stoplight turning onto La Brea I ask Bekka, “You ready? I’m heading to the back, take a right and you know where it is from there, sit in front of Crazy Girls for one minute, then in front of LA Ink for one minute…Godspeed!”

I hopped in the back and turned on all my shit, then rolled up the door at Sunset and La Brea. It is truly crazy playing while driving down the street in one of the largest metro areas in America, somewhat breaking the law yet somewhat following the rules. We raged it for crazy girls and bunch of people came out asking for information, we told them we would be back and continued down the street. 2 blocks down the road to the front of LA Ink where we sat for about a minute. They were all really stoked and we caught them really off guard, right before closing a band shows up and plays a show….awesome!!

The restaurant next door had some patrons that were stoked, but I don’t think the owner was too stoked. After we parked and were walking up the street we saw him talking to the cops about what happened, but there is not much you can do when the door is closed and the generator is off, so FUCK YOU for being such a flatliner!

When we got up to Crazy Girls we walked up to the bouncer and talked to him about the driveby show, he was stoked on it, but still wanted $10 a person to get in the door. I told him to go get the guy that wanted the card so we can give him a card and roll out, because 3 people on tour in a mobile stage can not afford $30 to get into a show! When the guy came out, who was the manager, and asked us if we were coming in, we said fuck yeah we are, he stamped our wrists, and we were in. Who the fuck has ever been on that guest list before, the “yeah we just played out front in a mobile stage” guest list.

Went in to watch our friend Arthur’s band House of Broken Promises and they fucking threw down! The manager wanted us to play afterwords so we did, do you think we can ever tell someone else “no.” Pulled into a 7-11 parking lot to turn around and a police officer was sitting right in my path. I rolled by him all slow and saw him eyeballing me really hard and just sitting there, so I parked, went in and got Dano some cigarettes. By the time I came out he was just pulling out of the lot, so Bekka got behind the wheel and we rolled up to Crazy Girls again. We were able to play a full song, then I hopped out, parked again, went up to talk to people for a few, then rolled out to The Rainbow.

Up to pretty much one of our new home away from home, The Rainbow, for the final show of the night. We started playing with the door open somewhere around The Whisky, then stopped at The Rainbow. There were about 2 people standing outside and everything looked really dead. Then it fucking EXPLODED with people, cameras, beer, weed, cigarettes, fuck yeah’s, and fists in the air….It was EPIC!

We ran into our friend Kristin that we knew from Mayhem Tour and her friend was doing some reality TV show, they invited Bekka, our friend that is helping us out, to try out for some reality TV show. So we stayed on the side of the street in downtown Los Angeles so she could go in and try out in the morning. They did their thing and then we rolled up to Castaic for one of our final nights here. Jim Beam was only $22 for a half gallon so I grabbed a couple….Going to be a crazy night tonight, hence the reason I am writing this hammered drunk on whiskey. NAMM starts tomorrow, and I guarantee you the next 4 days are going to be filled with more stories than you can wave an empty bottle of whiskey at.

We played out front in the Moooooooooo stggggggggggg. Haha we end up with a lot of inside jokes, and we had a lot of people prank call us while we were building the mobile stage saying shit like how bad we suck and how stupid we are at how we decide to run our band. It has been this way with everything we have done, we gave our music away for free starting 5 years ago, played any show we could for free, took all the shit we could from all the bands around us about giving things away for free, now everyone gives their shit away for free. Just like we had a bunch of fucking dipshits that used to be our friends with our phone numbers calling and telling us how stupid we were for building a mobile stage….And who is making music history right now?

We knew what was going to happen when we built this mobile stage, we were going to either get arrested or make music history, either of which both of us were willing to accept. It sounds like a really confident thing saying you are making music history, but I believe fully in my heart that we are doing what every true musician wants to do, which is play music every day and every night in a mobile stage wherever we want. It is why I will never sell Music Adventure Stage I, it is going to be in the rock and roll hall of fame some day, there is not much doubt in my mind. Just like I will put this challenge on the table right now, I have never been one to make claims and say things that we are not, but WE ARE the HARDEST WORKING independent band in the world, and I would be honored if bands challenged us for this claim, we have played 273 shows in the last 180 days, what do you have on that?

We have proved in under a year that anything is possible if you have heart and determination. At first the mobile stage was a $10,000 project, if you can’t save up $10,000 over 5 years then you are obviously unable to manage your life. This mobile stage has no bells or whistles, just hours upon hours upon hours of determination, we would have made the wood ourselves if we could. For the last 2 weeks we have been eating expired cans of ravioli and top ramen, make the sacrifice, there is no money in music anymore, so if you are not in it for music, fuck off and stop ruining it for the real musicians!

I would have never thought I would be choosing between playing a Hellyeah show, a Soulfly show, and a totally unrelated drive by show all in the same night. We are on every show we decide to go to, it is that easy, no ticket sales, only gas money…Pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Do you mind buying a shirt for $8? Or whatever you have on you, we have gloves too! And socks, and bandanas, the mobile stage really likes gas, at this point we don’t have enough money to get home, but where is home, as far as I am concerned it is in the mobile stage, and there are 43 more gallons of diesel in the generator tank, meaning over 50 hours of playing is left, bring it on, I know everyone in Music Adventure 1 is ready for it!

Back to the whiskey, all in all I believe this blog came out really well considering I just ran into the wall and fell face down on the floor trying to find the bathroom. Shane pretty much left us the keys to his house and took off for the night…Not sure how good of an idea that was…


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