Proving something to yourself is almost harder than doing something yourself
10 days at an Econolodge full of pimps prostitutes crazy hippies and homeless old people will really motivate you to get the fuck out of a place. As soon as we were returned to our ride we pulled up to the hotel, opened up the door, and played them some E=MC2, it felt so fucking good to play again! We have been cut off from our release for 10 days, were all about to fucking explode, and were all ready to get caught back up with this tour. Everything happens for a reason right? Well if this hadn’t happened, we would have never gotten ahold of the person in charge of the Mayhem tour to get permission to play in the parking lots. I can’t really get into how it all happened at this time, because it would take hours to explain, but we left Albuquerque on a mission to meet Kevin, the guy in charge of it all at a Warped tour in Cincinnati, OH the next next morning, yeah next next morning, 36 hours away, 1500 miles….A long fucking drive.
A half hour out of town after playing “long way to go and a short time to get there” about 15 times because it is a 2 minute long song, we go to start back up at a truck stop and nothing happened, the starter is not working. We call up Jack, the guy that owns the shop that just worked on it. He shows up in 12 minutes like a sprint car mechanic would, fixes our shit in a matter of minutes, slaps us in the ass and sends us on our way. We can not thank him and his shop enough for all the hard work they put in to fix us up, I mean your dealing with something that is duct taped and zip tied together, so you have to give them credit for that.
Flying across the desert at 55 mph, into Texas we go, where we meet our longtime twitter friend Courtney(printgirl) in Amarillo. Were there for an hour and I’m watching the clock count down, were running out of time to meet up with Kevin before bus call tomorrow, lets get a move on. Then up into Oklahoma where we reach our first road block, some fucking Oklahoma state trooper decides hes going to pull me over at a turnpike pay station for “not using my blinker”, which I ALWAYS use my blinker. First words out of his mouth are “get the fuck out and get in my car”. So I go get in his car, there are two drug dog’s in the back, and a sniper rifle in between the front seats, he lets me know that he pulled me over for not using my blinker, and I can not even argue with it becuase its his word vs mine. Also I know if I argue with him that it will only take time off of the little bit of time we have to make it to Cincinnati and meet with Kevin. He makes me take my sunglasses off because “I can’t even tell where your looking, your looking all over the place”, no shit OFFICER FUCKFACE, I’m looking around at all the shit you have in here, I’ve never been inside a police car before, I actually follow all posted speed limit signs and have a clean driving record, your treating me like you just arrested some sort of terrorist. He asks me what the fuck we are doing in his state, I let him know we are just traveling through to go to the Warped Tour, he asks me what the Warped Tour is, I tell him it is a music festival, he asks me what is in the van, I tell him it’s a mobile stage, he asks me if he can see inside it, I say “NOPE”, he quickly realizes that I am not stoned, nor do I have any weed on me, so he lets me go, a half hour later. He really was pulling us over for “being from Oregon”, it is fucking bullshit that they can do this and get away with it, but they see the Oregon plates and automatically think we have weed. Mark my words, if I ever see this officer anywhere else besides from the inside of his 2014 Chevy 4runner complete with leather and any other ammenity you can think of, I will BLOW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH A GUN THAT I DON’T HAVE, I will watch his family be sad that their father is dead with a smile on my face, this motherfucker is the reason the system is so fucked up, he had no reason to pull me over, he had no reason to make me feel like a criminal for 30 minutes, he had no reason to take 30 minutes out of my life, I am so tired of police fucking with us just because we are from Oregon, yeah I am from a different state, I am from Oregon, whats your fucking problem? Can’t you just be happy that we supply all of the nations grass seed, the same grass you have growing in your front yard fuckface.
Alright sorry about the last paragraph, still just kind of a sensitive subject. So we cruise on down the turnpike and what happens next, of course the check engine light comes on and we start to lose power(which happened to be a fuel pump problem that we fixed in North Carolina). Fuck life, so I pull off at the next turnpike rest area. For those of you unfamiliar with turnpikes they have these rest area/gas stations on them so you don’t have to pay to exit the freeway. Shit cools down a bit and we take off, exit the turnpike finally, then re enter another turn pike, were running out of change! Check engine comes on again at the very beginning of the next turn pike, 20 miles to the next exit, so I limp it up to the next exit and make the decision that between the police incident and these couple stops there is no way were making it to Cincinnati. So I call Kevin up and let him know well be meeting him at the show the next day in Milwaukee, WI. You know Milwaukee “give us any chance well take it, give us any rule well break it, were gonna make our dreams come true!!”
We hung out at the most busy McDonalds weve ever seen, at a turnpike rest area. After waiting a couple hours we decide to push it to Milwaukee, I still haven’t slept, but I am not tired, I am on a fucking mission. About 10 miles north of St. Louis we stop at a truck stop and I look like a tweaker that has been up for days, I have sunburns under my eyes, I have huge bags under my eyes, I don’t look like I should be driving anywhere. As I am buying some headphones in line at the check out, this Illinois state trooper turns around and looks me square in the eyes, he gives me that look like “you better not be fucking driving anywhere”, I respond to him with the look of “yeah….I’m going to sleep for a couple hours”. So I find Dano and Wassus and let them know that I’m going to catch a few hours of sleep, were a little ahead of schedule now, and it would be for the best. They wholeheartedly agree and I go sleep for 3 hours until 2 in the morning. I hop behind that wheel at 2 and put the hammer down. Everyone wakes up when we near Chicago, which is where we sat in the shittyest turnpike traffic of the whole tour.
We hit Wisconsin sometime around 11AM, pulled into the middle of the parking lot in between about 30 to 40 tour busses. We met up with Kevin, who happens to be one of the coolest people we have ever met. He handed us some passes to watch the show and took some pictures of the stage to send to John, the guy that runs Mayhem, who also, just like Kevin, is one of the coolest people we have ever met. Went in and watched Suicide Silence, then I passed out for the rest of the day, 36 hours straight is a long time to go with a 3 hour nap, it was fucking stupid, but what needs to be done gets done with us, and we did it. At this point in the tour we were so fucking ready to get back to Mayhem and see all our friends, they were wondering where the fuck we went, because it is pretty hard to relay the message to 100 people that never really get on the internet, we just dissappeared after Albuquerque, they thought we went home.
We arrived at Tinley Park, Il at 2AM, I parked right to the side of the front entrance and passed out for an hour at a time, setting my alarm every time, as I didn’t want to be in anyones way on our first legitimate Mayhem tour ever. Busses keep driving by asking me if we know where to get in, no one really knew where to enter, so Dano wakes up and decided to walk in and see what was going on. 4 minutes later here he comes riding on the back of John’s scooter, John is who we needed to meet up with anyway so it was like killing 2 birds with one stone. We rolled around to the other side and parked right in front of the line, and let security know that “we have permission to do this”.
It has been 4 years of doing this without permission, and we are getting ready to rage it for the first time, with permission. To those of you out there that think this shit was easy, or that we took some sort of hand out, fuck off. This was 4 fucking years of dedication to what we are doing, of meeting people and respecting people. Of lying to security guards, of almost being arrested, it is not for the weak hearted, and if the first thought in your head about what we are doing is negative or that you are looking for some reason for why we did it and you couldnt ever do it, you will never make it anywhere, you are a fucking pussy, and if you want to talk shit, or moreoff prank call my cellular phone every day acting like high school kids telling me that “The Athiarchists are gay, lets shave our heads and write shitty music”, keep doing what you are doing, because we are doing what so many told us couldn’t be done, all it takes is a will and a way, thats Dano’s quote.