Fear and Loathing in the Hollywood Hills of Albuquerque
Let me tell you something, dont EVER fucking break down on a weekend, and if you do, just try and come to the colclusion early on that you will be stranded wherever you are until monday. Even if we could get a heavy tow out of there we had no idea where they should take us to. We had to find a mechanic to take it to before it could be towed, the fucking catch 22 of the century. Sunday morning I put a post out on facebook asking if anyone knows an auto mechanic in Albuquerque. Our friend Camisha from Vancouver said her brother Brian lives there and could probably help us out, sent us his number, and he was out there in a little under an hour. He checked it out and let us know were going to have to get it into a mechanic first thing monday morning, he took off and started making some phone calls, but everywhere was closed so were pretty much playing the waiting game until Monday morning.
So here we are…at an indian casino/gas station/closed down race track in the Hollywood Hills of New Mexico. For any of you that have been to New Mexico, for some reason they named almost all their cities after California cities. I do not know why states do this, especially ones that are only 2 states away from eachother, but I guess it is really a preface into just how unoriginal humanity really is.
It was over 100 out by 10AM so we knew all we could do is go sit in the casino, throw $1 in the machine, and sit there for hours, milking a dollar for everything it is worth. Dano is always the first one to find the players club and sign up, he comes running over letting us know he just got $10 in free slot play, so we go over and do the same. $10 in a casino if you are trying to conserve will last you all day, its pretty awesome, free soda, free A/C, free clean bathrooms, what more could we ask for…oh yeah a fucking mobile stage motor that works, maybe an on site auto mechanic? Buffet $10, fuck it, lets do it, we might as well eat all fucking afternoon. All I will say about the buffet is good thing they had clean restrooms, we were all hurting for the duration of the day.
I figure its time for me to go to sleep around 10PM, since I have to get up at 7AM to get going on this whole towing thing, the anticipation was killing me not knowing how long we were going to be here, or how much it would cost to get fixed. Bryan had told us “don’t go to the bar up the street, they will kill you”, we are on an indian reservation, and indians can do whatever the fuck they want to you, if they want to shoot you, they can get away with it. So I let everyone know the obvious before I pass out, seeing as Wassus had been talking about going to the bar, “allright well be careful, don’t do anything stupid, don’t let ANYONE know or see what we have in here”. The last thing I need is some drunk indian like the ones on bikes I saw the night before wanting our $40,000 worth of shit that is right inside the door. While I am sleeping I wake up a couple times hearing some shit coming from the back door, I just closed my eyes and went back to sleep, I know if shit really went down that the framing hammer in my left hand, and the can of RAID and a lighter in my right hand would take care of shit.
So heres apparently what was going down at the back door. Dano knows me well enough that when I say not to fuck around, to not go fuck around, so I never worry about him. But seeing as Wassus is new to rolling with us, he decided to pound some beer that was in the cooler and walk down to the bar that was up the road. He runs into some fucking tweaker bitch in a broken down car. She is with a couple other bigger indian dudes and they are trying to give him a ride to Colorado. He lets them know that “hey, we are on our way to Colorado too, were in that mobile stage right over there, its broken down and we can’t drive anywhere”, in other words “come rape me and steal our shit”. Wassus let them know that he doesn’t want to go to colorado, nor does he have any money to help them out, and starts walking back towards the mobile stage. Thinking everything was over Wassus is back over behind the stage telling Dano what just happpened. The crazy bitch with 2 indians comes driving back over in their car, this time armed with hot sauce packets. She throws hot sauce at Wassus and says “here, maybe this will feed you for a week!” and squeals off towards Colorado. I heard about all of this the next morning, after lining up a tow truck to come out and pick us up. We need to get the fuck out of here, Wassus is going to get us fucking jacked with his lack of understanding for just how crazy indians can be, and I am going to get another ulcer worrying about what kind of trouble is going to happen next.
It seemed to take forever for the tow truck to get there, infact a couple other smaller trucks showed up and I let them know its going to take a fucking wrecker to get this thing out of here. So some time in the afternoon this guy shows up, removes the driveline, hooks us up and gets ready to take off. He lets us know he can only fit 2 people in the cab, and legally no one can ride in the back becuase he will lose his job and go to jail. So he tells us to just have dano sit in his bunk really really still. We lock dano in the back in the 110 degree heat and take off. It is here that the driver of the tow truck lets us know that he was hit by a car a few years back and lost half his brain. As he is driving us and all our shit at 70mph down the highway, he was a damn good driver though, but you could tell, you definitely could tell. We made it to Hodges Automotive in Albuquerque safely where they said they would check our shit out and get back to us in the morning. One of the guys that works there gave us a ride up to hotel circle, which is where we spent the next 10 days, this is where you can read the other fear and loathing stories. We got a call the next morning to find out the motor was totally blown up, and that we would be spending 10 days at the Econolodge on Hotel Circle, but hey, at least we would have a new motor when we left right?