Fear and Loathing in Albuquerque Free Hot Breakfast
My day started off thismorning with Wassus and Dano falling through the hotel room door at about 6:03AM. “FREE HOT BREAKFAST!” Dano says with a smile on his face as if he had just accomplished some week-long goal of trying to make it to the free continental breakfast. I’m somewhat still half awake and wanting to sleep more, seeing as I passed out sometime around 3:30 in another mexican brick weed coma, this time eating precooked sausages dipped in Sweet Baby Rays. As I crawl out of bed and get ready to go take full advantage of this free breakfast wassus yells from the front door “DO YOU HAVE POCKETS? GRAB THE VIDEO CAMERA, I WANT TO GET THIS ON VIDEO”. So reluctantly I grab the video camera(which doesn’t even fit in my pocket so im carrying it), right about that time before Wassus is finished talking, he trips on the threshold of the door and faceplants on the carpet, I return with “maybe that will fucking calm you down a bit FIRECRACKER…Im not sure if I want to go down there with you guys, you’re pretty fucking amped up for 6 in the morning” they are still dripping with pool water, pool water from a pool that is closed from the hours of 10PM to 10AM, and the last thing I want is to piss off the weird motherfuckers that run this hotel down at the front desk, since we are getting such a good deal, and they are accepting our shipment of 6 cases of cocaine tomorrow, but then again, this type of shit happens every night, so lets go make some waffles and eat egg saucers.
We get down to the free breakfast room, which is conveniently right underneath our room, there is an elderly couple, and some dude driving around carnival equipment. The dude driving around carnival equipment is having troubles with the waffle maker, so Dano steps in and lets him know that you need to spray PAM on that shit or it doesnt work out(dude wonders why Dano knows so much, and we let them know that we have been here for over a week, attacking the free hot breakfast any chance we can get). We fill everyone in with the blown up motor story and what we are doing with our mobile stage. Right about this time this other dude(I call this one other dude because he looks like he just got done following The Dead around for about the last 20 years, not even knowing Jerry Garcia is actually dead, complete with look alike girlfriend all ragged wearing some cut off jean shorts similar to the kind you would paint a house with.) They have this story about how they were locked in the hills of Albuquerque for 2 weeks trimming weed, and the person who they were working for would not let them leave, would feed them every 2 days, and bring them cigarettes every 5 days. He states “I have been through some fucked up shit, I followed The Dead around for 18 days once(hey I was right), and nothing compares to what we just went through, NEVER go to the hills of Albuquerque”. About this time I’m thinking that ill take that one to heart, as if just last night I had some shady tweaker hillbilly offer me a ride to the hills of Albuquerque to trim weed for cash.
(This is also after last night I came to the conclusion that no matter where we are at, Dano gets free drinks, weather we are playing or not. No shit, we sat at this table watching this cover band that played everything from Creed to Slayer, and over the course of about 2 hours, the bartender brought dano 5 beers and a mixed drink. Here is where if some shady tweaker hillbilly had come in and asked Dano to trim weed in the hills of Albuquerque, I’m fairly convinced we would have lost him, at least for a few days….but he never misses bus call so I’m not worried.)
We return to the room after a crazy fucking time at free hot breakfast and Dano makes a great point. “That dude and his girlfriend werent trapped in the hills of Albuquerque, they were frying on ACID!”. Everything started to make sense now, there were no hills of Albuquerque, there was no weed trimming going on, these 2 people were still frying on ACID from years ago when they followed The Dead around for 18 days. Also they werent even staying at this hotel, they live in Albuquerque….PARTY. Ohhhh what it must be like to be 21 again, only these people were probalby 35.
I passed out for another 4 hours upon returning to the room. I passed out while Dano and Wassus ask me the question of where we will be next. Thinking they are going to do some sort of early morning promotion or something for these upcoming shows I tell them we will be in Cincinnati, OH next. Already on their phones, they start finding new customers for their new Craigslist businesses….It figures, theyre always thinking about themselves. I honestly see no benefit in these Craigslist businesses, but hey, any port in a storm right? Im scared, we need to get the fuck out of here, I’m afraid one of these mornings I will wake up and go to find dano to say “Dano, bed” and there will be no Dano, or Wassus. They don’t have tracking devices on them, and what good is a cel phone with a dead battery. The spider is going to catch himself a fly, and I will be forced to locate them in the basement of some pawn shop down on Center St shortly before them getting ass-raped by some hermaphrodite with a leather facemask on.
Its about 12PM now, and I am on the computer doing what I do every day, since there are no videos to edit today I decided to write another Hunter S Thompson style reflection on the cabin fever that has started to take hold in our new home, room 261. 3 more days to go, I don’t even need to wait to finish the rest of the story for today, heres how it will go down: Dano and Wassus will wake up promptly at 6PM, they will go down to the pool and I will probably go with them, this is where I will find out about what REALLY happened last night, I’ll laugh my ass off, be thankful that they are alright, I’ll fill them in on everything thats been happening in mobile stage world, and what time the interviews will be taking place today, Dano and Wassus will take off to get cigarettes and magic cards, when they return I will be taking a nap, Ill wake up and maybe Dano will talk me in to going down to Malarkeys, or I’ll sit in the room making freezer microwave food, seeing what kind of combinations I can make up that will discolor my stool in so many different ways.
Once again this has been Aaron, checking in, and checking out at the same time
Keep your head up, shit will get better soon! Were out of mexican brick weed again